The Demon and The mountain

One of the biggest issues I have as a wargamer is that I suffer With depression which I call my Demon just like Churchill called his his black dog.

So this gets me down when I have bad months which are due to start as my little version of depression is called seasonal affliction disorder (SAD) yeah I laughter at the acronym to one of the things that stopped me killing my self at the time as I was that low and I get that low every winter.

I am on anti-depressants the Americans call them Zoloft Sertraline over in the UK.

So how does this stop me with my war games stuff, well around this time of year I lose interested in my hobby's so I lose interested in painting in war gaming and take losses a lot harder then I should.
Now a days I know its the depression, so I throw it in my book, on pen and paper and I deal with it,ignore it or move on.

For the record dealing with it and moving on two different things for me.

So things that get me down are like; having a massive mount of unfinished models that I have no interest in finishing so for example my DAK which I got off a friend of mine a while ago, there are still on the shelf just needing touch ups so guns finishing and bits on the webbing. Its a two day paint job and the army will be finished paint wise and then all I have  to do is base it.

Also with this time is when I finish a project I still get an endorphin release when I finally finish a project, how ever its not potent as it would be say the middle of spring.

Today I have finished some tokens from warbases that are a deck of cards cos its easier then having playing cards on the table.

I started these in July

Its only now in august that they are finished.

Now maybe I am being to hard on myself about how long its taken me to do these and I do have decks of cards at home as well, but its just one of those things that I have realised gets me down and picks me up.

Mental health, what a balls ache but here we are talking about it I have some 28mm gangster to finish on my desk I have three models left to finish. and it wasn't till tonight that I realised that either. trouble with depression is you become very narrow sighted and once you open your eyes you start to help your self. 

So unfinished projects on the go I have a few, 

but my next one to finish is my 15mm undead, and then I am going to patch up my 10mm crusaders.